Just last week my grad school friends and I were reminiscing that it had been exactly one year since we graduated. My mind started drifting back to grad school and then I thought back to my undergraduate years since I graduated 4 years ago.

Compared to graduate school, I can see now that I was far too naive in undergrad. Looking back, it was a much more carefree time in my life than now. While I would not change a thing, there are definitely some things I wish I would have known at 18 that would have saved me some worry and heartbreak so I’ve compiled a list of 10 things I wish I had known before starting college.

1.  Most guys in college are not looking for a long-term relationship

This is an obvious one but like I said, I was very naive. During my freshman year of college, I experimented greatly with the social scene. As a total introvert, I was proud of stepping out of my comfort zone and going to parties to meet new people.

Among those new people, I met guys that would catch my interest. We would have a good time at the party, talking and drinking (yes, I drank underage. Sorry, but not really) the night away. Yet most would end up disappointing my expectation of what I wanted in a relationship.

You see, I had imagined a college boyfriend that would walk around the campus together with me, separating as we each attended our respective classes and study together during my freshman year. And the possibility was out there. Yet, I was only meeting guys at parties.

Worst yet, I was meeting them at frat parties. It is so obvious to me now that guys aren’t looking for a long-term relationship at frat parties, especially during their freshman year. They’re looking to start their college years with good fun, not to be bogged down in a relationship.

I was not only looking for a relationship in the wrong place, I was doing it at the wrong time. Because let’s face it. While some college relationships may last, most guys in college aren’t looking for a long-term relationship, especially during the early years of college.

2.  Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay

I’ve always been a people pleaser; someone who is self-conscious about how others thought of me. I wanted to be everyone’s best friend. So I tried to make sure to befriend everyone I met in the first few weeks of college.

But I realized that some people just clicked more than others. I was making an effort to be friends with people who obviously had no shared similarities and was not interested in being my friend. Why was I wasting my time with them when I can enjoy my precious time with people I actually clicked with?

Once I started building stronger bonds with people who I actually enjoyed spending time with and who reciprocated my feelings, I had a much more enjoyable time in college.

3.  Don’t try to be a Renaissance (Wo)Man

Pick a couple things you are passionate about and get really into it. Don’t dive into a million things that you are only going to half-ass. I fell into this trap my freshman and sophomore year of college. And I exhausted myself trying to do everything.

From joining the volunteer club, getting an intern position at a research lab, becoming an experiment assistant at a cognitive science lab, being a board member for Residential Life, to working a part-time job, I was exhausted!

I couldn’t give my 100% to any of these and I certainly was not an exemplary member because I simply didn’t have enough time or energy to put extraordinary work to any of these endeavors.

The breaking point came when I quit my old part-time job to start working the night shift at the library with the intention of being able to engage in more activities during the daytime. At this point, I knew I had taken on too much when I was sleeping in almost all my classes during the day!

4. Take classes that interest you

My all-time favorite commencement address was one by the late Steve Jobs who inspired me to take whatever classes I wanted, no matter how unrelated it may be to my major. He shared his decision to quit college which allowed him to stop taking required classes. He instead took a calligraphy class that interested him; it ended up being the inspiration behind many of the fonts offered by Apple.

Inspired by his speech I decided to take an Introduction to Psychology course to quench my curiosity in the subject. I never looked back and ended up double majoring in psychology. Psychology major has a reputation for being an easy major that doesn’t lend itself to a high-income career.

However, years later I still find that I used the psychology tips and tricks I learned from these classes in both my work and personal life. I learned how to deal with stress, how to understand myself better, and how to improve my social skills with others (which I was in desperate need of as an introvert).

In fact, the lessons I learned in my psychology classes stuck so much better than things I learned from classes that were required for my primary major.

5.  Don’t be afraid to switch your major

I can tell you that there is a high chance of that you will be changing your major before you graduate. In fact, I would say only a handful of my friends in college stuck to the major they started with. And let me tell you that’s okay.

I couldn’t decide my major until my junior year of college. I changed my major from bioengineering just before the start of my junior year to biochemistry. I ended up double majoring in biochemistry and psychology and was still able to graduate in 4 years.

So it is never too late to change your mind. Even if you have to take an extra year, it will be worth it to pick something that you love and are interested in. It is certainly better than sticking with a major that you don’t like and having to go back to school to pursue your true interest.

Related: How to Pick the Right College (Without Breaking the Bank)

6.  Move out of your parents’ home and stay in the dorm

I went to a university only 20 minutes (40 minutes with traffic) away from home but decided to move out to the dorms my first year. Yes, I could have saved money by staying at home but I still consider moving out one the best decisions I have ever made in my life.

It’s crazy how much I learned about myself and others by moving out. I started noticing what my personal hobbies were without my parents hovering over me. I learned to be independent, to make my own decisions, and to take care of myself on my own.

It also opened my mind to the way other people lived. It truly made me a more open-minded person to see other people living so differently from me. I was able to pick up good habits from some people while personally seeing the detriment that bad habits had on others.

Related: How to Have It All: Balancing Frugality with Social Life

7.  Pick your roommates carefully

Roommates can become your best friends but best friends don’t always make the best roommates. Let that sink in and don’t make the same mistakes I did.

I spent my senior year living together with my two best friends in the messiest apartment I’ve ever been to. Yes, it’s crazy to think the messiest apartment I’ve been to happen to be the very apartment I was living in.

While I am still friends with both of those girls, my two best friends are no longer on speaking terms with each other. Being roommates ruined their friendship. It took a toll on my friendship with them too and it was only when I dissociated their attributes as a roommate versus friend that I was able to reclaim them as my friends.

Some people are great as friends to hang out with. They’re loads of fun but may not make the best roommates. They may be messy while you like things completely neat. Or maybe they like inviting people over at all hours of the day while you want to enjoy your peace at home.

My advice is, before you become roommates with your friends, make sure you visit their home and find out their pet peeves. Make sure that you both match in living style. It is much better to reject someone as a roommate than it is to ruin a friendship over home disagreements.

8.  Learn to compromise and don’t take things too personally

Tensions will run high during the stressful midterm or final weeks. My roommate and I once got into a fight during finals week because we were stressed more than anything else. Any other day we would have resolved it amicably. So keep in mind that certain times are not the best to get into a confrontation.

More importantly, learn to compromise. For both you and your roommate, this will likely be the first time you live anywhere else but home. For the last 18 years, you’ve gotten into certain habits that are going to be hard to break. Well, it is the same for your roommate.

If there is something you don’t like that they do, be patient with them. They can’t just change their way of life in one day. Talk things out and see if you can compromise to a middle ground.




Maybe they set an alarm up at 5 am in the morning while you’re still trying to get your beauty sleep. It would be completely unreasonable to stop them from getting up at the time they have always gotten up their entire lives just so they don’t bother you.

Instead, compromise and ask that they turn down their alarm volume or tell them to make sure to turn off their alarm ASAP so as to minimize the disruption for you.

I am sure your roommate will appreciate your thoughtfulness at making a compromise rather than directly bossing them to follow your ways.

9.  Draw your boundaries

My freshman year of college, I was placed in a three-person room. My two roommates and I all got along swimmingly and were very relaxed in the sense that we did not set any rules for our room. We would get up at different times and were into different activities but were courteous enough to respect each other’s space so we didn’t think any rules were necessary.

We didn’t heed the RA’s advice that every room should make a set of rules and boasted how “chill” we were that we got along just fine without rules in the room while our suitemates pondered and argued over what rules should be placed in their rooms.

Well, so much for that. One of my roommates turned into a nightmare roommate that would have sex while I or my other roommate was in the room with her. Yes, it is true story. I will save the gory details but let’s just say she wasn’t very discreet about it; all the rooms around mine knew all about her “activities”.

Of course, at that point, my roommate and I ended up in a huge confrontation with her but it would never have happened if we had set boundaries early on. So don’t be like us and think that rules are only for suckers. So what if your roommates think you’re too strict because you want to set boundaries? It’ll save you some awkward and uncomfortable moments later on.

10.  It is okay to not know what you want to do

Uncertainty will always be there. I was uncertain of my life in high school. I was uncertain in college and grad school. And guess what? I still have uncertainties in my life right now as a full-fledged adult working full-time.

There are going to be nights that you pull an all-nighter finishing up that project or studying for that test, not knowing if this is going to make an impact in your future. And that is completely fine. Don’t let that discourage you.

My favorite quote from Steve Jobs’ commencement address is:

You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

There were many things I did in college that ended up having no impact on my future. That research lab experience that I dedicated 10 hours a week for a year doing? It’s not even on my resume anymore. But it was a great experience. It led me to realize that research was not my calling.

So it is okay to not know what you want to do at 18 or even at 22. You’re not supposed to know. That’s just part of the adventure of life. So enjoy your college years and don’t worry; things have a way of working itself out when you least expect it.