The saying goes that there are two ways to get more money. You make more or you spend less. It sounds simple enough, but like most things in life, easier said than done right?

The good news is, of these two options, there is one that is easier to tackle and that you can easily control. I am talking about spending less.

Think about how hard it is to make more money. You either have to work more hours at your current job or you have to start a side job to gain more money. And in this day and age, it’s not so easy to get a job when you want to. Even if you are lucky enough to land a side job, you are definitely paying for it with your time.

So today, let’s place the focus on spending less. It is a much more attainable goal that you can start right away.

So what’s the first step in spending less? It’s budgeting. And what is the first step in budgeting? It’s getting into the mindset of budgeting. Because budgeting itself is not too hard. There are even apps for it.

The hardest part of budgeting is getting started and having that motivation to spend less. Keeping up with a budget may be another problem, but you won’t even get to this problem if you don’t start.

So in this post, I will dive into the psychology of budgeting to get you in the mindset to not only start but also continue to budget.

What Does Budgeting and Grief Have in Common?

Budget and grief may have very little to do with each other but I like to reference the five stages of grief when it comes to getting into the mindset of budgeting. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.

Like the stages of grief, the goal and final step to getting into the mindset of budgeting is acceptance. Accepting that you want to change your ways and start budgeting.

I believe of these 5 stages of grief, budgeting share three common stages with grief that you need to go through.

These are denial, bargaining, and acceptance. These were the stages I had to go through to finally start and implement a budget.

First stage: Denial

The first hurdle that you have to get through to start budgeting is the denial phase.

Right now you may currently still be debating on whether you even need a budget. Or maybe you are still skeptical whether a budget can change your spending habits.

Maybe you’ve compared yourself to friends who spend way more than you that you don’t think your spending habits are problematic at all so you don’t think you need a budget.

Let me tell you that I was just like that. Up until three years ago, I didn’t have a budget. Was it any coincidence that three years ago was also when I had the most expenditure coming out of my bank account? I think not.

There are two ways that budgeting can help you save. First, it forces you to evaluate what you are spending your money on. Trust me, it will be an eye-opening experience when you see where your money is going to.

Maybe you’ll find yourself shocked that the $5 coffee that you buy everyday is adding up to $150 per month. Or maybe you’ll find yourself realizing that those weekend shopping trips with your girlfriends is where the majority of your spending is going to.

For me, I was shocked to find that I like to buy cheap goods like random notebooks, cheap accessories, and cute displays that attract my attention in stores but that I have no use for in real life. I have since cut down on these random purchases and I fully attribute this change due to starting a budget and realizing where my money is going to.

The second way budgeting helps save money is by allowing you to easily keep track of your spending in different categories. Even if you consider yourself an already thrifty person, as I like to believe I am, I can promise you that a budget will definitely lead to more saving.

So let go of that fear that you’ll fail in budgeting or that thought in your head that budgeting is not for you. Give it a try and see how life-changing it can be.

Second Stage: Bargaining

Once you have passed the denial stage, you may be super charged to start budgeting and reach your target.

I see so many people who passed the denial stage and started a budget right away. And with that new enthusiasm to save, they succeed right away on that first month. But then they stop. Why? Because they started bargaining with themselves.

The thought process is, “since I did so well last month, I can cheat a little this month right?” or “I’ll start back up next month. I need an off month.” No. That is not how budgeting works. Budgeting is a long-term habit that you need to stick to.

You don’t need to be a strict disciplinarian to keep a budget; that is a common misconception. However, the whole point of budgeting is to make habitual changes to your spending lifestyle. And that is not going to work if you only do it for one month then give up the next.

I know firsthand how it feels to do so well one month and then feel so discouraged the next. In fact, after having a wildly successful month, I used to have the tendency to create a stricter budget for the next month. The result: I would fail to stay in budget the next month. I was literally setting myself up for a failure.

The trick is, don’t overwhelm yourself with making a budget that you can only stick to for one month. Make a budget that is sustainable and that you can hold yourself accountable to in the long run. By making a budget that is too strict, you will only set yourself up for failure and discouragement.

I have since learned my lesson and stopped being too strict on my budget. I leave room for extra expenses to give myself a fair chance every month of staying within budget.

Final Stage: Acceptance

Accept that you are not always going to be within your budget every month and that’s okay.

I have some months when I do really well and some months when I am so off budget that it used to make me feel so discouraged. But I’ve learned that is just life. Some months you are going to go out more often and spend more money. I make it a mission to never sacrifice my social life for my budget and I intend to keep it that way.

When you are just starting out, there is definitely going to be a learning curve. It took me roughly 3 months of tweaking my budget to finally settle on something more permanent. And even then, I still constantly re-evaluate and re-allocate my budget on a quarterly basis. So do not get discouraged.

My tip is if you find yourself outside your budget for more than three months, you may need to reassess your budget.

I use Mint to create my budget and it is a browser/phone app that I highly recommend. I previously talked about how I use Mint to keep track of all my finances in one place. What I like about this app is based on my spending trends, the system actually creates an automatic budget for me. I recommend using their automatic budget system as a rough sketch of what your spending in each category should be and tweak it as necessary.

Last but not least, I’ve accepted the fact that I am going to always be tempted by some friends who spend with reckless abandon, but I constantly remind myself I have chosen to budget. Budgeting is a lifestyle change that I have been happy with the results I’ve made.

Honestly, budgeting can actually be very fun. I still get a little thrill when I stay within budget. So make it fun. Find the categories that you can cut down and give yourself a reasonable budget that you can be proud of when you meet it. Trust me, your bank account and your future self will thank you for starting a budget.